It is the everyday soundscape that arises from the audience themselves: their coughs, their sighs, their rustles, their whispers, their sneezes, the room, the wood of the floors and the walls expanding and contracting, creaking and groaning with the heat and the cold, the pipes clanking and contributing.

Now what about that whole groaning, lack of talking thing?

Autism, arson, robbery, lost love, a bag of money, cut throats, murder, blood, a snub nosed revolver, clenched teeth groaning, boobs (various definitions can be used), large flashlights, tribal people, a brother duo attempting to out-portray "dumb and dumber," white wolves, fight scenes that resemble "happy slapping," snow mobile(s), a large tracked vehicle, and a motel under renovation?

This hokey movie left me groaning after just about any exchange of dialogue or plot complication.

If, on the other hand, you want to see Stephen Nichols have an orgasm in front of the camera, you might like it: Stephen will show you his naked butt, lots of tongue work, his groaning range, but not his talent as this character who's obviously just as sex-driven and misjudging as he was for wanting to do such personal things in front of the camera.

Now THE ULTIMATE GIFT comes to the screen/DVD and before making the groaning judgment that here is yet another insipid little tale about learning life's lessons and gaining some spirituality in the process, try watching this two hour traversal of well acted and well scripted (Cheryl McKay) and well directed (Michael O. Sajbel) input.

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