So before I get started, I want to show you a fast smattering of some examples of what I do.

And then we started to look at other bacteria, and these are just a smattering of the molecules that we've discovered.

As a movie, this isn't great, although it has a smattering here and there of both action and humour.

Writer/director William Byron Hillman relates the engrossing story at a steady pace, builds a reasonable amount of tension, delivers a few gruesomely effective moments of savage misogynistic violence (one woman who has a plastic garbage bag with a rattlesnake in it placed over her head rates as the definite squirm-inducing highlight), puts a refreshing emphasis on the nicely drawn and engaging true-to-life characters, further grounds everything in a plausible everyday world, and tops things off with a nice smattering of tasty female nudity.

Writers/directors Mark Ezra, Peter Litten and George Dugdale trot out all the endearingly corny clichés which make these 80's slice'n'dice body count flicks so much cheesy fun: fake jump scares, prowling Steadican shots, a fierce storm, an insanely groovy hard rock soundtrack, a nice smattering of gratuitous female nudity, a totally ridiculous "what the hell?" supernatural climax, tacky make-up f/x, and one of those lovably lame "it was all just a terrible dream" fake-out non-endings.

However there's not much acting to be had; with a script bereft of substantial dialogue and a fair smattering of time-consuming stunts, our two heroes mainly just get to bark at each other and mug at the lens, all the more surprising when you appreciate the screenplay is by William Goldman, late scriptor of "Butch Cassidy", the epitome of "buddy" movies and its little brother, the soon-come "The Sting".

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