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Monster in example sentence

so,why does anjali so maniacally makes it a point to show off her strength of mind when she is really harrowed by the realization that she is becoming a monster?aren't we all who think we are ''normal'' ,really monstrous and helplessly vulnerable about it deep down inside? is it not better to be happy even insanely,than to create the impression of 'normalcy' while suppressing one's fragility?
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